The Achievement of Marriage

 

            Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions discusses major points related to being a true feminist, with focusing on the grounding of gender equality.  At the beginning of this manifesto, she lays out two feminist tools, one of which being that if you can reverse a situation and get the same result between a man and a woman, then it is equal, but if not, then there is work to be done (Adichie 6).  Adichie works this tool throughout the manifesto and truly uses it as a measure of whether something is just for women to be expected of or to care excessively about.  She particularly uses this tool in suggestion seven, discussing how “marriage as an achievement” (Adichie 30) is not an ideal that is reversible to men, and should therefore not be an ideal taught to women.

         Adichie discusses how women are expected to look forward to marriage and constantly consider it in their lives.  Women are taught to consider having a husband and children when thinking about a career, but men are not.  Adichie discusses how this difference in interest immediately makes women more invested in marriage, and therefore, more inclined to make sacrifices for the survival of the relationship (Adichie 31).  Teaching women this way lines up family life to pertain more to the women and not expect there to be shared work between the father and mother, as Adichie discusses in her second suggestion.  This intertwining of guidelines shows how truly pivotal changing these ideals and this cycle of unequal gender expectations is for actual change to occur.  Dreaming about marriage is something that may seem harmless, but in reality, places power in societal expectations that have no real benefit on one’s life. 

         This idea is carried into Adichie’s discussion of Hillary Rodham Clinton, who put “wife” as her first descriptor on her Twitter profile (Adichie 31).  Hillary also used to go only by Hillary Rodham, but slowly incorporated Clinton for her husband’s political gain (Adichie 32).  Both of these ideas paint Hillary Rodham Clinton as softer and more feminine, while it would never be expected of a man to do these things.  Making a point to define oneself as a wife and mother does not change who someone is in a political race, so there is no real benefit to making this point, except to get more people to vote.  Men, though, do not need marriage as a determinant factor that they define themselves with, which draws back to Adichie’s second feminist tool.  If men are not expected to define themselves as husbands, why are women expected to define themselves as wives? Discussing Hillary Rodham Clinton is a real-world example of how there are still public nuances that show gender inequality.         

    Marriage is not something to dream about or be “achieved.”  It is a relationship that can bring two people great joy but should be built on a mutual understanding that there is equality in expectation.  If girls are brought up with marriage as an option, but not a goal, there may be greater equality in marriages, as there may be fewer sacrifices made to maintain the relationship.  There should be an understanding that there is no need to place pressure on societal expectations that do not have a true benefit in one’s life, which is seen with dreaming about marriage, as well as ensuring one is defined as a wife.  Hillary Rodham Clinton took the political root of identifying herself first as a wife when in reality this has no true semblance on who she is as a candidate.  Discussion of marriage and identification with it is not expected of men, so there is no reason to place incessant value and goals upon it.



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